High Technocery

2011-08-xx

by Darknut

Are You Computer Savvy?

Apparently I've been very wrong about what the term "computer literate" means. I've been using it to refer to hypothetical people who exhibit a certain amount of competence. But according to consensus, all it really means is that:

• You can find the power switch.
• You know how to copy & paste.
• You can send an e-mail.
• You can get music onto your iPod three out of ten tries.

This must be how my astronomy instructor from NASA felt when he realized he couldn't assign any "fun" homework because there were no math prerequisites for the course.

Since your grandma is "computer literate" according to the communal definition, the term no longer has any relevance in today's world. I'm going to need a new term to describe the level of competence to which I usually compare people. I'm going to call it "computer savvy", and it goes like this...

Wait. In order to make this more fun, let's call it a quiz.

Darknut's Computer Savvy Quiz

Give yourself one point for every statement that matches you. Depending on your age and heritage, some of these may be impossible for you to know, so dont feel bad if that's the case.

• You don't use Internet Explorer.
• You know the difference between a slash and a backslash.
• You know the difference between an upload and a download.
• You know the difference between the Internet and the Web.
• You know the difference between PKZip, GZip, and 7-Zip.
• You know the difference between a MID and a MOD.
• You know the difference between a MUD and a MUSH.
• You have used IRC.
• You buy individual computer parts and put them together. Hence, you would never, ever shop at Best Buy because it's such a rip-off, duh.
• You don't have an A+ Certification, nor anything like that.
• You can write HTML (even if only at a 1997 level).
• You can do something at a DOS prompt.
• You can do something in a Linux terminal.
• The first notable computer game you ever played was before Doom (1993).
• You enjoy fresh torrents.
• You could explain how a virus got on your computer without using the word "hacker".
• You've never contracted a virus.
• If you wanted it, you know how to get a virtually unlimited supply of porn, faster than you could possibly process it, 24/7, for free.
• The same as the above goes for all software in general.
• You know what the scene is.
• You could explain what it means for an operating system to be "32-bit" or "64-bit".
• You know the difference between hacking, cracking, phreaking, and leaking.
• You correctly pronounce words like "cosysop" and "warez" (and "GIF").

Let me know your score! I'm not sure yet, but I think to be "computer savvy" you'll need ohhh let's say at least a 15. Good luck!

I swear this was not just an excuse for me to feel superior. It's supposed to be educational, really!

If you have any commentary, we could certainly talk about my rationale for each of these. That sounds fun!

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