Hollywood Presents
2010-01-17
by Darknut
Avatar
2009
This isn't so much a rant as a series of "retrospective questions". Is it just me, or...
...Is James Cameron's Avatar the most expensive anti-America propaganda film ever produced? News stories a few weeks after the opening of the movie note that "despite initial reactions", some say Avatar has an "anti-military message". Really? News media, it took you a few weeks to notice that? The military in this movie is depicted as a bunch of dumb, soulless, bloodthirsty lunatics so much that their laughably weak battle strategy is unquestionably just a contrived set-up for their defeat.
...Does naming your movie "Avatar" show ignorance of computer culture since about 1994? (I pick 1994 as an estimate for mainstream use of the word; it would technically be 1985 if you're an übernerd in the know.) If I didn't know better, a movie called "Avatar" would be a documentary about that kid who killed himself while playing EverQuest.
...Does the eponymous avatar look a lot like Brendan Frasier? Is this just coincidence, or was he supposed to be in the movie? I like to tell myself that Brendan Frasier played the role of Jake Sully's brother, who got written out of the script. Or does Brendan Frasier unconsciously represent the epitome of the "ideal guy" nowadays?
...Was the alien sex scene somewhat "anticlimactic" to you? Maybe this has something to do with the movie not being rated "R"?
...Is this movie the spiritual sequel to Aliens? Ripley's been brought back to life again, and she gets screwed by The Company again. The Space Marines have a snappy Hispanic chick flying their VTOLs. And nobody really makes a point of this, but the "motion scanners" carried by the Space Marines are exactly the same as the ones that appear in Aliens. I rather like the idea that this movie expands upon the Aliens universe.
...Does Jurassic Park still have the most realistic visual effects?
...Does the entire world opine that this movie is a re-presentation of the same story as in Dances With Wolves or FernGully or Disney's Pocahontas? Somehow I have not seen any of those films myself, so I cannot comment directly. But in closing, the internet and I would like to leave you with this:
How screenplays are written.There is also a somewhat less biased review here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uJarz7BYnHA. C'mon, I wouldn't post it if it weren't funny.
